My Sordid Life Story

Howdy! Long time no see :D
Lets skip the i-know-i-haven't-updated-in-long speech, shall we?

Lemme tell you about the future. I end up discussing the future surprisingly often these days. Kushal insists she's not going to let me name my own kids. (i assume she will trust my choice of husband just as little and not let him name my kid either) She insists on doing the honours. This is because i insist on naming my pet worm Pintoo. Hey! i can't help that he looked EXACTLY like the worm in the tv ad.
Today, in the car, i was leaning back and listening to the lyrics of some song plaing in the car. My mom suddenly becomes all serious and starts wondering about how i'll be when i have kids of my own. *head desk*

Now. I shall tell you the perpetrated story of my life. It started with Mr. Neil trying to name that cute litlle cat which is in my msn dp. (Anyone with half a mind can figure out what twisted turns were put on it... ) I'm a little confused about my humble beginnings but i shall tell you what i have garnered.

ONCE UPON A TIME : Neily boy said "I'm bored. Entertain me na."

PART I

Firstly, while tainting everything i own with his over-active horny imagination, Neil says he's setting a dracula on me. (I really don't know one has to do with the other.. but lets not think about logic here) Therefore, i become one (obviously). Over here you're sposed to imagine me flying in the night and laugh your asses off. I already have 3 kids - batterienes
Somehow (i REALLY don't wanna know how) dracula has already been tainted. So i apperently drift along with cat-people for a while. But he has tainted them too. (refer picture of cute cat)

PART II

I now decide to go to the X-Men for help and i fall for Wolverine. (NOT difficult. Hugh Jackman doeing wolvish stuff) We end up having 3 wolver-culas our offspring.
Excerpts:
Neil:oh btw u 2 dont live happily ever after
Deepti: aw how mean!
Me: of course not. As if i should be so lucky.
N: so u both have a divorce
Me: Can i marry superman now?
D: ahahaha
N: agen like a devdas dracula u fly around at night tell ppl how cute cats are. then u start calling everything cute
Me: Not to mention sweet. My entire college will testify to that.
D: And saying sorry every 2 mins?
Me: Nah.. i don't do that anymore..
D: suuuuuure..
N: then u meet spider man. he whips up a nice web for u to hang up side down. you'll have 3 kinds. all spider-culas.
And no you cannot have superman cause he is already tainted.
*head desk*

PART III

For those of you who haven't noticed - i already have 9 kids. I have miraculously managed to get those divorces AND win custody cases.
Spider man has begun cheating on me with MJ. So i throw a spider-cula at them and take off flying to the Himalayas.
Why you ask? To meet the Yetis.
N:You find their fur all cute and all and settle down with them. You have 3 one-night-stands in sub-zero temperatures and lo and behold - 3 yeti-culas are born.
Now you get bored of the sex and the divorce
D: And what? become a sanyasi??
N: And you go out to find true love.
Me: NOW can i get superman???
N: nope. He's your brother. lolz
Me: OYI!
D: incest!
N: you'll are long lost twins from the same planet woteva it was
Me: ohmyfuckinggodium
N: Nice planet. So you go to ohmyfuckinggodium and ask for advice seeign as he's in love and all.
D: With lois lane huh?
N: you meet him and tell him of your many by-products.
D: EWW. BY PRODUCTS???
N:All the different culas. HE tells you love is not only about sex and bla bla bla. Well most guys would disagree
D: ahahaha
N: But superman is gay and secretly has an affair with tom cruise.
Me: oh wait. that i can deal with.
N: thats why cruise got divorced twice. Anywyas.. u get what he is saying and u start looking for the perfect guy coz all u had till now was meaning less animal sex
D: animal sex??!!!??!!??!!
N: and then you meet the perfect guy and have culas with him.

EPILOGUE

N: I'm bored. Entertain me na
S: *dies*
S: We went over this already!!!!!!!!

After this followed random discussions about random words like "fuck-shit" and their ancient origins.

Thats all for now folks.

toodle-oo.

BTW : I owe this blogpost to Neil Shivkar and his having an excess of sugar. Hee. He gets free ice cream :D